Miguelito’s Breakfast Burritos:
The best and most convenient and most romantic food item ever assembled by
human hands.
Illustrating Ideas by
use of examples
See that young man?
His hair still wet and ungroomed.
Odd line around his neck from his wetsuit—pale below and tanned brown
above? He’s been in the cold water
all morning and he’s ravenous.
What does he need? A
breakfast burrito. Nothing else would be as good. See that young
woman at that library table? At
first she strikes you as somewhat attractive—but then you see she’s reading
Shakespeare—and she becomes the most beautiful young woman you’ve ever
seen. She’s been reading since 8pm
and it’s now nearly midnight. She
closes her book and heads out, a determined expression on her gorgeous
face. She knows what she
needs—she’s thoughtful about what she eats but not obsessed—she’s on her way to
the taqueria that stays open all night.
But not for tacos. She’s
going to order a breakfast burrito.
Classification as a
rhetorical strategy
For the purposes of our discussion here let’s divide Mexican
food into four broad categories.
We all know corporate Mexican food. One can get Mexican food at several
different large chain restaurants.
You know the places. The
food is not inedible but it’s not that good. And it’s overpriced and not the most convenient and often
brought to you by an overworked server—and maybe the beans come out of a big
can in the back. You can’t be
sure. Worse than corporate Mexican
food is something called Tex-Mex.
It is a nightmare of culinary imperialism. You take what’s good about
Mexican food and bury it under Texan-ish-ness. It’s like the George W. Bush of Mexican food. At least it’s an honest name; I think
they applied the “Tex” part of the name to acknowledge that they’ve messed up
Mexican food. Every body knows the
best-tasting Mexican food is of course home-made—made with love by your mother
or your tia or your abuela—with tortillas hand-made as well. Although this type of Mexican food
tastes best, it’s not the most convenient—it’s not always available. Or not available at all to those of us
who lack the good fortune of family from Mexico. So finally we have food from your local independent taqueria
or take out. It may not taste
quite as good as grandma’s but it’s close. And what gives it the edge in terms of importance is that
it’s most convenient—sometimes even available 24 hours a day. And it’s affordable.
Comparison (and
contrast) as a rhetorical strategy.
One would be irretrievably foolish to assume that all
burritos are created equal. In our
effort to understand the preeminence of the breakfast burrito, we might examine
it alongside another commonly consumed burrito. I live in a state that has the misfortune of having its name
attached to a horrible thing: The California burrito. The California burrito is an abomination. One feels the need to shower or
otherwise cleanse oneself after just being in the vicinity of a California burrito. In a breakfast burrito the ingredients
balance perfectly and complement one another. A hungry scholar can find nourishment and peace in consuming
such a delicately balanced work of art. A California burrito contains French fries. A breakfast burrito combines
ingredients to create a delicate interplay of flavors and textures. A California burrito tastes like
somebody was clearing dishes in a fast-food restaurant and just scraped the
leftover scraps into a tortilla.
Nobody who is pure of heart could possibly appreciate such an
abomination.
Analogy
Eating a breakfast burrito is like being in a classroom
where nobody uses a cell phone. A
room full of real humans who actually read. Humans not enslaved to their electronics. It’s like entering a world that you
thought could only exist in the world of ideas. But a breakfast burrito is not just an ideal. It’s real and you can put it in your
mouth and taste it and know that something like peace and balance is attainable
here on earth. It’s like hearing
that song that played when you first kissed your true love and you knew that
she was pure of heart and you knew that she knew that you were pure of
heart. That song never gets
old.
Process Analysis
One may not understand the paradoxically sturdy but delicate
beauty of the breakfast burrito immediately. At first one might eat some eggs and bacon wrapped up in a
tortilla. This could be one’s
first step on the road to understanding.
Miguel Paniaugua Salsipuedes Cienfuegos Buenaventura had his first
proto-breakfast burrito on boy scout camping trip. It was not a breakfast burrito. The tortilla came right out of the package
and was wrapped around the campfire-cooked ingredients cold so it lacked those
little lightly browned flaky areas from contact with the grill. An inferior
shadow of a breakfast burrito—but it started him on the path. It has been a long journey, but after
years of trial and error he would eventually find just the right combination of
ingredients and preparation that were necessary for the breakfast burrito that now
bears his name.
Cause and effect
Studies show that regular consumption of breakfast burritos
reduces stress and removes impurity from the heart of the consumer. King Lear had three daughters: Goneril, Regan and Cordelia. You know the story. Goneril and Regan lied about their love
for him, took their inheritance and then betrayed him. Cordelia actually loved her father, was
honest about it, and was loyal to the end. Guess which daughter ate breakfast burritos 3 or 4 times a
week. Cordelia. Exactly.
Definition
The word ‘burrito’ means, of course, ‘little burro.’ Some suggest that the name came about
because the food resembles the bedroll carried on the back of a burro—others,
more crudely, suggest it points to a part of burro anatomy. Most experts believe this important
food originated in Northern Mexico and was loved for it’s portability as well
as for it’s deliciousness. Ciudad
Juarez claims the burrito as it’s own.
The Wikipedia entry on burritos also emphasizes the contribution of San
Diego, Los Angeles and San Francisco in the development of this most important
food item.
Narration
Once upon a time there was a boy who loved to read books and
to listen to sad songs. He read
novels, plays, poetry, everything.
Nobody paid him any mind.
Except his math teacher who would yell at him and tell him to put away
the books and work on his math.
Mostly he would read. He
didn’t play with his phone or post stupid stuff on facebook. Nobody noticed him. So he would read some more. When the new girl arrived he looked up
from his book and watched her find a seat. She was pretty.
But still. She probably
wouldn’t notice him either. He
went back to his book. Or tried
to. But then he looked up and saw
her reading. Not a textbook or
anything, she was reading Franny and
Zooey and he saw that she had a copy of Raise
High the Roofbeam, Carpenters in her bag. Now how was he supposed to ignore her presence and get back
to reading? She had become vastly
more beautiful in the few minutes she’d been in the room. She was radiant.
He continued passing his eyes over the words for the rest of
the day, but he was by no means reading. He could only see her face. The way her brown eyes moved across the
page she was reading. Her
lips. The way one side rose
slightly when she focused more intently.
He went home. He couldn’t sleep.
He listened to sad songs almost all night long and when he finally
drifted off—just ten minutes before his alarm rang—he dreamed of talking to her
at school under the two-trunked tree.
The next morning he was so wrecked and agitated that he knew
he needed the peace that comes from his favorite food. He picked it up on the way to school
and when he got there—perhaps prompted by his dream—he sat under the
two-trunked tree to eat it.
He didn’t even see her come around the corner and approach
the tree. She was trying to read
and walk down the hall at the same time and when she almost tripped on a crack
in the sidewalk she looked up and saw him sitting under the tree. She put her book in her bag and
approached him.
“What are you eating? she asked quietly.
He finished swallowing although it was difficult. “Breakfast burrito,” he choked.
“What kind of breakfast burrito?” she asked, again, quietly.
“It’s kind of embarrassing,” he said, setting the little red
salsa cup on the book at his side, “it’s named after me. I ordered it so often in this
particular way that they put it on the menu. Miguelito’s breakfast burrito: eggs, bean rice and
cheese. I’m Miguel, I mean, my
name is Miguel. But Marielena—the
lady that works at the counter at Don Miguel—calls me Miguelito because the
owner’s name is Miguel.”
“What did you say was in it?” she asked. And time seemed to stop for
Miguel. He couldn’t believe she
was talking to him. Could she
really be interested in the contents of his burrito?
“Eggs, beans, rice and cheese.”
“No. Way.” she
said after a long but in no way awkward pause, her brown eyes placid but
widening as she considered what he was saying. “No. Way.” She paused and reached in her bag. “I have to show you something.”
She handed him what was clearly a burrito, still warm and wrapped in yellow paper. On the paper a name was written in Marielena’s elegant red letters. Miguelito. “I didn’t know what it said", she whispered, "or what it meant. Until now.”
(Irene Jacob from Kieslowski's "Red")
She handed him what was clearly a burrito, still warm and wrapped in yellow paper. On the paper a name was written in Marielena’s elegant red letters. Miguelito. “I didn’t know what it said", she whispered, "or what it meant. Until now.”
And they lived happily ever after. With their dog named Jack.